Grandchild

What’s a great way to spend time in retirement?  Possibly spending time with a grandchild.  I just learned from my son and daughter-in-law that they are expecting a baby and I will be a grandmother in October.  The timing is perfect.  I will be retired and able to make myself available to help with my grandchild.  I have wanted a grandchild.  I have even told my friend E that she is so rich in grandchildren (5) that surely she could spare one for me.  She only laughed, but never agreed. 

Wow, lots of thoughts and dreams.  My son is a little less than an hour from me, so very a drivable distance.  I believe I will be a fun grandmother.  We will hike, ride bikes, go to museums, canoe, travel, and of course lots of reading books.  How wonderful to have a grandchild close enough to be apart of their life. 

We had dinner with them when they told us on Monday, then had dinner in Columbus on Thursday.  After dinner we visited a shop called Sprout Soup – a baby boutique.  It’s a wonderful shop for hip and environmentally aware parents.  Lots of choices for clothe diapers, natural fabrics, handmade toys and clothes, and all kinds of carriers to have your baby close to you.

My choices for retirement have expanded!

Racing to Retirement

Notice how Shadow’s ears are almost standing straight up and her fur looks like it’s blowing in the wind.  She’s just crossing the finish line of the 2008 ESS Agility Challenge in Dallas and has flown through the course with a clean run (no mistakes).  She’s looking very happy and looking toward me running on her right.   Whether she placed first or not, she was very pleased with her run.  (She did place first!) This is how I want to look as I race off to retirement. 

So, you may ask, how do I get there?  Maybe in some ways it is like training for agility with Shadow.  We played and practiced hard.  I set goals and we trained for them.  A couple of years ago, I was a part of a women’s circle that meet twice a month.  When it was my turn to talk, I talked about my thoughts on retiring.  I began to think through how I wanted my life to be.  How did I envision spending my time?  And, I am talking specifically about what I planned to do – not just to end world hunger and homelessness.   Were there activities that I currently do, but would like to have more time for them?  Are there new activities that might require training/education? 

A number of the activities I love – hiking, biking, cross-country skiing, reading – don’t require interacting with others.  I enjoy interacting with others, but where I live is isolated.  So I realized that I needed to plan activities that would provide opportunities to be with other people.  I also wanted to expand my group of friends. I had been a part of a reading group that ended, so I thought I could get involved with a group again – combining friends and reading.  I contacted a former reading friend and together we started another reading group.

To help my transition from very meaningful work to retirement, I decided to get involved with several organizations about which I’m passionate.  Serving on the boards provided the type and level of involvement I wanted.  I would be challenged mentally, contribute to the community, feel useful, but have time for the “fun” activities.  It's the beginning of my race.

Happy Earth Day

Happy Earth Day, which was the birth date of my first ESS – Sherlock H. Stiles.  Back from Cleveland Clinic - surgery went well except for me having a cold.  So, it’s hard to tell what symptoms are from the cold and which aren’t.  High doses of calcium, which I am taking, cause a headache and so does a cold.  The area around the incision is pretty swollen.  In fact my resident told me I rated in the top 10% on swelling.  I do like to be in the top percent, but not sure if this is what I had hoped.  Feeling tired and yucky, but probably from cold. 

Before surgery, I was told my surgeon would huddle before the surgery.  I guess a huddle is bringing all participants together and being sure all are on the same page.  Once I was brought into the surgery room, the surgeon (Joyce) stood next me and said let’s huddle.  Yeah I thought, I get to be a part of the huddle.  Being a former cheerleader I thought I could get into this.  Joyce said my name and birth date and gave the anesthesiologist a knowing look.  That is the last I remember until being in recovery.    The night I was in the hospital, Alan had a great evening with Bob and his son.  They went out to dinner and stayed up to 11:00 talking.

It is great to be back with the dogs and cats.  I will be taking it easy for a while – no driving or riding the bike.  Bummer.

Shadow - Good News

I got home from work late last Wednesday due to a meeting and the nice guy also had a meeting so he missed yoga.  He was just finishing feeding the dogs when I got home and said if I wanted to ride my bike, he would walk the dogs and fix dinner.  Leaving on my bike, I saw him walking in the yard with Shadow and they started to run.  It was delightful.  Blind dogs don’t run often because they need to be careful so as not to run into stuff.  Shadow has gotten comfortable on the lease because she knows we will keep her from running into things.  It was so wonderful to see Shadow running and looking happy – like she used to look.   After the bike ride I checked for phone messages and my Vet had called and said amazingly, Shadow’s blood levels are normal.  Her levels had been elevated and pointed to renal problems.  The change may in part have to do with the special renal food she is eating.  And, the growth on her ear is nothing to worry about and will probably crust and fall off.  Yeah!!  

A Woman - Back-Story

I don’t know if you are like me, but my story just seems so boring to me, hence the dog’s back-story first. Yada, yada, yada and I am falling asleep thinking of my story.  Okay – I was raised in Springfield (no, not where the Simpsons live) and had a relatively normal childhood.  My family has had its tragedies like most families.  If you think most families are dysfunctional, then mine probably was.  My dad was a WWII veteran, so like many of my friends’ dads, he thought you should pretty much salute and do what you were told.  My parents loved me and cared for me.  I wasn’t physically abused or sexually abused.  They paid for me to attend college and I didn’t have to work for spending money.  I think I was lucky.

I married a college sweetheart, had a baby, and moved to Oklahoma for several years.  Moved back to Ohio and my husband had an affair that caused the end of the marriage.  Divorce was probably good for me because it made me look at my future, my interests and my ambition.  While working at what is now called Family and Children Services, I started our county’s battered women’s program.  My interest was heightened from seeing women come into the office who needed help and the realization that my high school sweetheart whom I got involved with after my divorce was abusive.  I loved the work and was the director for about nine years.  I created a lot of innovative programming, but responsibility for all funding and grant writing fell on me.  I didn’t see a way for me to get out from it and began to feel burned out.  I left that position to become first an assistant director, then ED of a public entity from which I will be retiring.

Along the way I got my master’s degree, remarried, raised my son, took up cross country skiing, got into dog agility, did a lot of traveling, camping, hiking, bike riding, canoeing and most recently took up yoga.  I’ve kept my involvement with the domestic violence program and another non-profit that focuses on housing for low-income folks.  I have tried to have meaning in my life while doing activities that I enjoy.  Remember – not waiting for tomorrow because it may never arrive.  My personality is pretty positive and I have never suffered from depression except after my divorce.  This isn’t to say that I am always happy – but many days are awesome!!  So in a nutshell, that’s my story.  Not quite as exciting as the dog.

Retirement

I was at an event on Friday to announce the retirement of the ED and the appointment of the next ED.  I’m on the board.  After the ceremony, the retiring ED asked me what I planned to do when I retire.  I told her that I have a lot of plans and asked her what she plans to do.  She said she wanted to do all the things she hasn’t had time to do.  Another friend, who owns his own business, said he wouldn’t know what to do, so he planned to keep working.  Other friends said they would stop in a heartbeat if they could afford it.  We are of course baby boomers.  It is said that many of us haven’t saved financially for retirement.

I’ve been thinking about retirement for several years.  I’m satisfied with my retirement pension and have healthy enough savings, so I believe I am financially set.  You need to know I’m a planner and worrier about having enough money, so I am probably in better shape than I believe.  I don’t want to end up as a bag lady.  I’ve mentioned before that I see my value as what I have done working.  So when I retire, what is my value?  That has been the frightening question for me.  I’ve had to get comfortable with feeling like I am nobody without my job.

I have in general lived my life not putting off what I want to do today for tomorrow because tomorrow may never come.  My mom died when she was about 51.  She and my father bought property at lake Tahoe and planned to build a house there for their retirement.  But she died before it ever happened.  This was a lesson for me.  My life at times has been very busy, but I have enjoyed it.  I’ve done lots of volunteer work on boards, camped, hiked, vacationed, got my master’s degree, trained and competed with my dogs, read books, took up the violin, rode my bike, whatever has seemed important.  So, I have many interests outside of work.  I believe this is the key for a fulfilling retirement – many interests.  And a desire to learn new things.

I’m one of those who do New Year’s resolutions.  I think about where I would like my life to go in the next year and what I have to do to get there.  What I have to do to get there becomes my resolutions.  I’ve found that if I think about it, write it down, then I will probably do it.  Enough of my pontificating for now.  

Dog - Back-Story Part II

Okay, is this where you hear about the sad part? No, because Shadow’s story isn’t sad.  Her story is about resilience, the strong heart, love and will of an ESS.  Did you notice the little picture above of Shadow at the 2009 ESS Nationals looking at the finger telling her where to go next?  This was when her vision was severely compromised, just before the specialist said her retinas were dying.  Now, let me tell you about that specialist – she was really good looking, wore a dress, and had on spiked heels.  Does this sound like any Veterinarian you’ve ever seen?  Not me either.

Over the last year or so, Shadow has demonstrated, at times, confusion, uncertainty, and maybe even a little depression.  But most of the time she is her usual cheerful, the glass-is-almost-full self.  She continues to be outside with Kinsey on our 5 acres during the day.  She greets me when I come home by woo, woo, wooing and springing with joy – hence the name Springer.  She loves to hang with me and of course to be rubbed and fussed over.

We started tracking together so Shadow could learn to rely upon her nose more.  It is also a great activity for us to do together.  She loves to get in the car and go places with me.  There is nothing better than tramping around in fields in all kinds of weather with my best friend.  My goal is to go for a TD (Tracking Dog –AKC title) title.  We track most Fridays with our friend M and her beagle.  The beagle is what I call a Master Tracker because he is so good at tracking.  So that’s Shadow’s story so far

A Dog - Back-Story Part 1

Shadow is from Michigan.  I found her after an extensive 7 state search for a healthy ESS through the ESS Field Trial Association Breeders Group.  She was almost 4 months old and adorable.  On our ride home with her, she rode in the back of our Land Rover, which had a dog guard.  She howled and howled.  Sounded to me like she was saying “Help, I’m being dog napped!  Help!” When I finally looked around, she had squeezed through the 4-inch area between the guard and vehicle.  Of course howling like her life depended upon it.  Just so you know that I do love the earth, I got rid of the Land Rover several years later and got a Honda Insight – electric hybrid.

Shadow was a star in puppy obedience and continued on in beginner and advanced obedience.  She started her agility training at Bud Houston’s Dogwood in a puppy class.  Dogwood was an hour and a half drive, so already you can see I’m a little fanatic about training.  At about a year, came home from work and Shadow was limping.  Long story short, she had a partially torn ACL.  We were advised to crate her for about 4 months and walk her on a leash.  We did this, but in order to keep her fit, we got a very large above ground pool.  I got in the pool almost every day and got her to swim.  I learned, to Shadow’s dismay, to hold the toe of her good back leg, so it forced her to use her injured leg to swim.  Once healed, I took her to a dog physical therapist in central Michigan.  The therapist was quite surprised with Shadows condition.  She thought she would have lost muscle tone due to the crating.  Obviously the swimming kept her in good shape.  Learned about 8 exercises that I had to do with Shadow daily. I did ask Shadow to take some responsibility for her recovery, but all she heard me saying was “Shadow – yada ,yada, yada, yada, yada, good girl.”  Oh well.

Shadow was easy to train in agility, she was my second ESS trained in agility.  ESSs so want to please and be with their humans, so it was easy and fun.  We continued to train with Bud Houston until he moved.  We also trained at our club, the Gem City Dog Obedience Club.  Trained twice a week and at home – you get the picture.  At the end of 2007, Shadow was on her way to earn a MACH from AKC – highest title for agility, which requires 20 double Q’s (a double Q consists of clean run in a standard course and a jumpers course)  and speed points.  We had lots of fun training and competing.  Agility really cements the bond between dog and human.  My husband started taping our runs, so we could review the runs for improvement.  There are several pictures of Shadow and me both looking at the cam recorder reviewing the last run.  Really looks like Shadow is saying in the picture “See, I knew it was you who messed up.  Your body was telling me to go left, when you should have told me to go right.”  You see, it is almost always – 99.9% of the time that the human messes up and not the dog.  But dogs are very forgiving and rarely bark at us or scold us.  Shadow was always willing to give me another chance.

Rebirth

Okay, I thought I was going to do a back-story today, the dog’s, because we all know that dogs are much more fascinating than humans.  But my thoughts are going another way.  At yoga this morning, I had a different instructor.  My usual instructor, C, is wonderful.  One time last year she had a substitute for a class my husband and I were taking.  The substitute was really nice and really quite good, but she wasn’t C.  I felt like a grumpy 6 year old.  I wanted to say, “but C doesn’t do it that way. C always does  this first.”  I told myself to get a grip.  This morning I handled it great. During savasana (brief relaxation at the end of the session) the substitute adjusted (touching us in a way that improved our pose).  It was great!  Anyway, she talked about spring and rebirth.  It made me think about Shadow and me.

Shadow is having a rebirth of who she is.  She was defined before by vision and being an athlete.  Now she’s using other senses and strengths that define her.  Even the sense of touch seems to have more meaning.  It’s really been since her vision decreased that she and Maggie, the relationship I said I wouldn’t discuss, have become so close.  ESSs are affectionate dogs.  With the loss of vision, affection and touching seem to be more important to her.  It’s part of her connection to the world.

I’m having a rebirth through retirement.  I will be changing how I define myself.  The world will also define me differently.  I’ve always seen my value in my work and in the good I can do for the community.  My expertise has value while employed. When I retire, I will not be sought out for this.  So, I will redefine myself – a rebirth.

Today was a great day for Shadow and me.  She is eating!